The 'Colonel's Lost Mine and Ski Lodge' is owned by the enigmatic Colonel Moustache, a spry octogenarian passionately involved in the pursuit of his second childhood. The Colonel keeps young by livin' large and refusing to give a hoot.

The lodge's day-to-day operations are handled by Rodney Reed, a capitalist's capitalist and pragmatic, no-nonsense entrepreneur in size five boots. Rodney's hobbies include corporate mergers, launching over-hyped IPO's and gourmet cooking.

Spyder Jones, wayward waif and free spirit, has been a ward of the lodge ever since arriving on the Colonel's doorstep many years ago. An avid outdoor enthusiast, Spyder keeps Rodney from taking over the world, and makes up for her small stature with vast quantities of optimism and hair.